Three Secrets to Supercharging Your Marriage Now
As anyone who is married or has been married will tell you, marriage can be one of the most amazing things on the planet. But at the same time, it can also be an incredibly challenging thing. Simply put, two human beings spending the majority of their time together, making massive and critical decisions together, sharing the same bank account, raising the same children, living in the same house, sharing a room, and sleeping on the same bed for years or decades is not an easy thing for anyone. While a good marriage can bring you a level of harmony and strength that goes beyond anything else in the world, a failing relationship can bring the strongest of people to their knees. There are three incredibly simple secrets that when applied on a consistent basis will absolutely supercharge your marriage, supercharge your relationship and ensure a beautiful and lasting marriage.
Secret #1: Play together
Couples who play together, thrive together
Couples who play together thrive together
In any relationship, the most important thing for a couple to do together is to simply have fun together. In fact, isn’t that how your relationship started? Most of us met the person we love in a playful and fun environment. Even if you met your significant other at work, school, or another setting where play was not necessarily the primary objective, if you think back, you will recognize that even in that environment, you met and fell in love while playing. Therefore, it makes sense that playing together today should be one of your primary objectives. Unfortunately, many couples lose interest in playing together because their interests change or they are unwilling to take part in the type of play that their significant other enjoys. If you are reading this article as a couple, I recommend you spend time trying to do the things that you both enjoy doing together. Most of you, however, are reading this article by yourself and as you read this, the tendency will be for you to think about all the things you want your significant other to do with you. For example, a man reading this article might wish that his wife enjoyed Monday Night Football as much as he does, while some women reading this would say they wished their husband could enjoy more of the movies or TV shows they enjoy watching. But the reality is that while you cannot change your spouse’s behavior, you can certainly change your own behavior. Therefore, come up with a list of three things that your husband or wife loves to do that you could try to take more of an interest in them and ensure that you spend more time playing together. Start with this and you’re on your way to supercharging your relationship.
Secret #2: Learn together
Couples who learn together, grow together
Couples who learn together, grow together
Ask anyone who is married for more than 10 years and went through a divorce and they will tell you the most important factor was that they simply grew apart. When I hear that, it makes me wonder if they were both “growing,” why didn’t they grow together instead of apart? The fact is if you spend time learning together and doing things that help you both expand your mind and body, you can grow together in a similar direction. Not only will you gain power as an individual, but attain massive power as a couple. Growing together could be as simple as spending time in the same room reading books and then spending two or three minutes each telling the other person what you’ve learned from the book that you’re reading. This does not have to be mechanical or robotic in any way, meaning you do not need to give each other an official review of the book. It just means that as you’re reading, you turn to the other person and tell them about some of the cool things that you’ve just learned or recognized as a result of reading that book. Your books could be about completely different topics and even those that your significant other is not at all interested. It does not matter because this time spent learning together means that you are now growing together, not apart. Additionally, spend time working in the same room but doing your own individual things. Do this often and supercharging your relationship will not seem like much of a struggle. For example, you could take one hour every night and work independently on your laptops on the things that will help you make advances in your career. But do it sitting at the same desk or kitchen table. You can even turn to each other every few minutes and ask a question or make a comment. While this may not seem like a big thing, consider that spending just one hour per night working together means that at the end of the year, you will have spent over 350 hours being productive and being together. The power of this may not be immediately seen until you consider that this is the equivalent of 46 workdays per year if you work an eight-hour shift. Considering that most individuals work about 22 days out of the month, that means that with this simple change, you have essentially added over two months of productive worktime to your career, but you have done this together. This is what is referred to as “NET” time. NET time means no extra time. Imagine what you could accomplish in your career if you had 14 months in a year, while everyone else had twelve. Also imagine what it would do to your relationship if you spent these two extra months that no one else has together, learning together, and growing together. Do this and you’re even closer to supercharging your relationship.
Secret #3: Stand together
Couples who stand together, stay together.
Couples who stand together, stay together
When I fell in love with my princess 10 years ago and decided to marry her, I had no rules and did not ask much of her. However, there was one request that I made. I even asked if she would be willing to make it a rule in our relationship. That simple rule was that no matter what, we would always stand together and be on the same team, even if one of us was wrong. I learned this through my years of experience as an entrepreneur and having studied successful businesses. In the most successful companies in the world, the top level management often spends time in a boardroom battling things out with extreme passion, including loud voices and even people pounding their fists on a conference table. But the moment they walk out of that room, they stand as one unit with one unified message. To the rest of the company and the world, there is nothing on which they do not agree. This, by the way, is why they pound their fists on the conference table, because they know that this moment is the last time they can disagree with what someone is saying. If they do not disagree right then and they do not get their point across at that moment, they know that they must agree with that publicly and they cannot disagree in any way, shape, or form. In the most successful relationships, we find the same thing. Couples in incredible relationships focus on always standing together. That means you never complain to your friends, family, and allies about things which you disagree with your significant other. You may disagree with them, but you never disagree with them publicly. And while they may have done something to hurt you, upset you, or even throw you to the brink of madness, you do not tell any of your “allies” about this. That means you do not go to your friends, family members, or colleagues with the things your significant other has done wrong. This may seem tough but it’s a critical secret to supercharging your relationship. When I say this to couples, immediately I get asked the question of, “Then who can I talk to?” The answer is that ideally, if you ever have these issues come up, you can talk to your significant other’s allies, such as their family, closest friends, and colleagues. While your allies are going to give you bad advice and always defend your point of view, his or her allies will be a bit more even-handed. More importantly, your allies have absolutely no power to get him or her to make significant changes, while his or her allies have influence over him or her. That means your efforts might actually work, unlike telling your own friends about your problems. Apply these three simple secrets and watch how your relationship will thrive. The most successful couples in the world have learned these three master secrets and apply them on a daily basis. Remember that couples who play together, thrive together. Couples who learn together, grow together. Finally, couples who stand together, stay together. Put all of these together and couples who care enough about their relationship to apply these three simple secrets get the benefits of enjoying an incredible relationship full of growth, fun, and strength. Apply these in your relationship and remember to start with yourself, not your significant other. Enjoy supercharging your relationship! By Arman Sadeghi, Titanium Success